If You Read This, Beep

     We are being tortured.  A slow, insidious, painful kind of punishment. It is so bad that I fear for my mental health.  And as a result, there is tension between me and that hacking cough wonderful man I am married to, Edward.  Even the dogs seem to be affected. No, we haven't checked into Guantanamo prison or gone for some kind of couples encounter weekend.  We are safely at home.
     The problem?  There is a beep.  A persistent, annoying, electronic beep that is coming from parts unknown.  It goes off every few minutes, and it can't be stopped.  It's coming from Edward's office, which is directly across from the room where we -- more importantly -- I, sleep.  I find myself waiting for...and there it is, the beep.
     To remediate this situation, I have tried:  removing all things that plug in from his office, except the computer, and blaming Edward.  While the latter provided some satisfaction, it did not stop the beeping.  Nothing has stopped the beeping.  We have turned off the computer.  Still the beeping.  Am I to spend the rest of my days being beeped?
     Could this be a message from the beyond?  Oh God, is it my mother-in-law again?