Barnie Runs for Narcissism, Merchandise and Penguins.

     When I told my husband, Edward, that I was runnning in a 5K race sponsored by the Wildlife Conservation Society for the protection of penguins, he was immediately supportive and said he would be cheering me on at the finish line. 
      Since the race is April 30th, that gives me over 3 months to ... train?  Well, yes, but more importantly, to figure out what to wear.  A good, cast-iron sports bra is a necessity.  What to do with my hair?  Jean-Claudia, another runner in this event, can rock a really great head scarf, but when I try to do that, I look like an escapee from "Fiddler on the Roof."  This is all becoming so very stressful. 
       And, just when I was entering into all out obsession over my appearance, Edward called to me from downstairs.  "I think we need to hire a dog walker the day of the run, since we will be gone so long."
      That kind of blew me out of my narcissism into a crisis of ego and self-esteem.  Did my husband and biggest fan think it takes me hours and hours to run a little over 3 miles?
       Before I could yell my response back at the bedbug sweetie, a daydream in movie form began running through my mind. The first scene began with Jean-Claudia and I looking fabulous in our running togs.  We speak of our devotion to animals, and penguins in particular, as we start the race.  Our fans line the course and provide thunderous applause as we swiftly run past.
       Sadly, the next scene shows me in the distance, running alone in the dark, all the other participants having finished the race many hours earlier.  I look disheveled, worn-out, and glassy-eyed but still I put one foot in front of the other.  Sweat, or maybe tears, run down my grimy cheeks.  The fans have all gone back to their cozy and happy homes.
       A reporter from a local news station approaches me and walks backwards in an attempt to keep up with my running pace.  "Why did I persist in continuing the run when so many people, including Mayor Bloomberg, had begged me to stop?"  I told the reporter that I would never let down the doners and certainly not the penguins, and that I believed the petition signed by the donors asking me to stop running was a fake.  Furthermore, I demanded a bus with curtains at the window to take me to the airport where a plane with long-range capability would be idling on the tarmac.  A bagel, freshly toasted with butter, not cream cheese, should be placed on the bus alongside a large, hot, black coffee.  Then, and only then, would the little red-tailed pooper, who was taken as a hostage and was currently being held captive in my sports bra, be released.
      Wait a minute, now I'm in a totally different movie.
      I busted out of my daydream back to reality.
      My response to dear Edward?  "No need for a dog walker.  If I'm not done in 3 hours, feel free to go home, walk the dogs, have lunch, have an affair and don't bother coming back.  I'll get a cab."

In all seriousness, this is a worthwhile event, and I hope you will consider becoming involved.  For more information about saving penguins and how to donate, go to: http://e.wcs.org/goto/Nancy